Come What May and Love it

Since coming home from my mission, loosing weight has been a goal of mine. If I were to be completely honest, it wasn't just to get myself healthy either. Health is important to me, of course, but I was told by an elder in my mission, that I would not find a spouse unless I lost weight and wore more makeup. So my immediate reaction was well, I better get to it.
Thinking back to that moment, I am kind of mad at myself for letting a comment like that bug me so much, but it did.

So I came home, started to count my calories and almost obsess over it, and in a month all I lost was a measly 6 pounds. That's it!? 6 pounds?! Immediately frustration took its course, and making a positive change for myself appeared to be so much more daunting then it should be.

Getting married and having a family is the only thing in this life that I want more than any worldly desire, or any other achievement. Some how, I only see how looking good and getting married connect. In my self conscience, frustrated mind, all the sudden everything that is good about me didn't seem to matter, because if I don't look good, no one will ever love me.

Of course on the surface I know that this is false, and if I trusted in my Heavenly Father just a little bit more perhaps this wouldn't be as painful, however, this is all apart of being vulnerable Angelena.

Today in church, a talk was given that spoke so much peace to my self doubting soul. It was all based on a talk titled come what may and love it, by Elder Joseph B Worthlin. In the talk he mentions 4 things we must remember to do in times of doubt, trial, and adversity.

1. Learn to Laugh
Life is hard, especially for a young single adult in the world, trying to get by without falling off the balance beam we call adulthood. Life has been increasingly difficult for me since returning home, and I tend to feel so serious about everything, and forget that life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured. That is even applicable when we are feeling like we have so far to go until we become who we feel we should be. We have to accept that God made us with all of our imperfections, and gave us the ability through the atonement, to improve every single one of them. We all have things that could be better, but if we keep our nose down for too long, we forget how beautiful this life can be.

2. Seek for the Eternal
This is sometimes the hardest principle I attempt to master. The fact that I believe that weight determines my eternal destination is proof that my eternal perspective is almost non existent. The truth of the matter is, in my patriarchal blessing I am PROMISED from a loving heavenly father that I will have an eternal family. I will find my husband, and it wont be because of what I look like. And if were really going to get all matter-of-fact, we all get resurrected, and become perfect, so why the heck should it matter? Of all the Attributes of a celestial being, thin is not one of them.

3. Learn the Principle of compensation
The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. It may not be in our time frame, but every tear shed today, will eventually be returned 100 fold, and will be tears of joy and gratitude.
I need to remember that every heart break, and all confusion and misunderstanding of His plan, will all be made up for because of Jesus Christ.

4. Trust in the Father and the Son
Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want to help us. They are our advocates, our support, our friends. Trust and faith in them is not only crucial if we want to see our most righteous desires come to pass, but it is also necessary for our happiness. The times I am happiest, is when I fully submit my all the Lord, and allow him to take control. Jesus Christ was perfect, so we could trust Him. He possessed all attributes of loyalty and love, so that we could have faith in Him, and what He would do for us.

Christ has never cared about what we look like. How much make up we put on or how much weight we can bench. He has already atoned for all the loneliness, sadness, and imperfection we all naturally have because we agreed to come here, and jump right in to Gods plan.

It was through this sweet talk I was reminded that God sees my potential. He understands my struggles, and is more than patient as I work so hard to over come them. God has helped me love myself so much more than I ever did before. The gospel provides a certainty that we have a divine nature, and confirms that we are a piece of the puzzle.
We do belong. We do have promise and blessings in store, even when the world convinces us that we are less deserving than everyone else because of who we are.

I am aware that being self conscience and open about it isn't attractive.
However today I feel heavenly fathers approval of all I am, and all I am doing to improve, and that is all that should matter.

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2009-01-03-come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng